No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
