so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
