I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
