my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
