come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Welp...herpes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize