honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
