I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize