problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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