I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
