I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
