No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
