You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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