He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
