Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
