Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
