how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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