I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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