It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
