i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
