Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
