it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
