oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
