Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
