just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize