I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
