everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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