Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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