Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
