apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
