hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
that may or may not have been my penis.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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