I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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