So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
