Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
