Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
