? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
