Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
