I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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