Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
