i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
