If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
