Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
