I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
