you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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