I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i now understand why vodka
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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