why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Text me some of your sweat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
