Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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