Don't make out with my wife yet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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