I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
