She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
