I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize