the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
