He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
