And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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