Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
