I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
