I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
