found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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