i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
