She's JV to your varsity
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
