is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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