whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
