Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
